He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize