I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
