She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
