she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
