Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
