Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
