So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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