Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
