and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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