Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize