worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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