Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
