every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
