So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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