There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
