The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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