dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
