Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Can i not drive my cunt home
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
