at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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