FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
