can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
