Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
