But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
