Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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