her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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