hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
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A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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