No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
