there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
