Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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