Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
