do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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