entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
