FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
