I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
