i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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