Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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