we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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