i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
