she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
