i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
