You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Umm I'm too high to move.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
