you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
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We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
this hospital has no fireball
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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