oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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