I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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