life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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