I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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