I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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