I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she told me i tasted like america
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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