now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
