I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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