Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Don't EVER smell your tampon
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
