Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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