you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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