girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
