Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
