Who did Billy Mays play for?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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