i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
