hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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