I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
