I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
