i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
