Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
