I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
