if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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