I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
