Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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