I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
