That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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