You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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