Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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