he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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